FIRST, A GUT CHECK. How do you know if Thanksgiving is a stressful time for you? Listen to your gut, seat of great wisdom. If thinking about Turkey Day makes you feel anxious instead of enthusiastic, something is wrong. Maybe you feel too much pressure to do everything yourself. Maybe you'd rather be a guest than a host. Sit calmly, and meditate upon where the stress is coming from. Write down your insights. Then give yourself permission to make changes.

TAKE ACTION. Once you've identified the stressors, be brave enough to take action. It might begin with your guest list. If you can eliminate toxic people from your table, do so. If you're stuck with guests who are mean-spirited or self-absorbed, see Thanksgiving as an opportunity to practice acceptance, kindness and compassion. Be thankful you are evolved enough to handle their pathology. And remember, you can use place cards to keep your annoying ones two breadbaskets away.

SET YOUR INTENTION. If you want your Thanksgiving to be calmer and more satisfying, start your day by setting an intention. Do it as you light a candle, or sit in silence, or take an early morning walk. Wake up to the deeper meanings of the day: gratitude, love, appreciation of family and friends. Tell yourself, when negative emotions arise — and they will, as soon as Uncle Harry starts telling us why Occupy Wall Street is a socialist plot to overthrow free markets — you will smile and be nonreactive. Accept the day as it unfolds. If you feel yourself losing it, breathe deeply three times. Stay cool and calm. Consider the health benefits of a glass of red wine.

BE A CONSCIOUS COOK. This year, ban the Butterball and buy a free-range turkey raised on organic feed and Mozart. Thanksgiving is a symbolic meal, and your typical farm-factory turkey — loaded with chemicals, hormones and antibiotics that sap our strength and screw up our metabolism — represents all that is wrong with America's addiction to fake, tortured food.

To symbolize your commitment to eating purer, unprocessed foods, bring only real food to the table: fresh vegetables, wholesome grains, awesome side dishes that don't depend on high-fat heavy cream sauces for flavor. Heart-healthy is not a dirty word. And one more thing: To really enjoy the holiday, think of Thanksgiving as a team sport. Ask for help with cooking, serving and cleaning up.

CREATE A RITUAL. Thanksgiving didn't start out as a holiday to celebrate overeating and football. When the Pilgrims and Native Americans sat down together, they were sharing a meal as a way to develop harmony and trust. (If only it had worked.) This year, do your part to create a meaningful holiday ritual. Begin by establishing a stress-free zone around the table: no cell phones, no gossip, no fights. Dim the lights, call for quiet, light a candle and pass it around, inviting everyone at the table to say who or what they're grateful for. I know it sounds corny and hard to pull off, but go for it. Feel the mood in the room shift. This is what trust and harmony feel like.

EXERCISE! No matter how busy you are, take at least 30 minutes to exercise before the day takes hold. Ride your bike, dance to The Dixie Chicks, get the yoga flow going. It will ease stress, burn calories and boost your resolve to make this T-day the best one ever.

DO SOMETHING CHARITABLE. Make a double-portion of your favorite holiday dish and take it to a homeless shelter, or write a check to a favorite nonprofit, or open your table to a stranger who has nowhere else to go. Is anything more obvious or easier to prove? Generosity, like maple-glazed brussels sprouts, is a great thing to pass around.

ENERGY EXPRESS-O! SWEETER THAN PECAN PIE

"If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough." — Meister Eckhardt

Marilynn Preston — fitness expert, personal trainer and speaker on healthy lifestyle issues — is the creator of Energy Express, the longest-running syndicated fitness column in the country. She has a website, http://marilynnpreston.com and welcomes reader questions, which can be sent to MyEnergyExpress@aol.com.